Mini Says, “It’s All About Me”

Mini

I am a cat, I am perfect no matter what I do.  My people tell me so all the time.  Sometimes I toy with them to see how far I can take this.

If I want them to pet me, I rub up against them and snuggle, only the way that “I” can.  They are eager to please me, so they pet me.  When I am finished, they must stop.  I bite them & they stop.  They discuss amongst themselves how precious I am anyway.  I am a beautiful cat, I can get away with this because it’s all about me.

When I want my people to give me a treat, I yell at them, in only the way that “I” can.  They desire to please me, so they drop what they are doing & they bring me my treat.  Even though I secretly want it, I pretend like I don’t. They bring me an assortment of treats, hoping something will be to my liking.   My people think it is so adorable that I am finicky.  Yes, I am a finicky cat, I can get away with this because it’s all about me.

When I want to play, I act playful.  I may bat at their clothing, or indicate in any number of ways that I want to play, in only the ways that “I” can.  They are thrilled to play with me, so I let them.  They try to get my attention with a wide array of toys.  I find this amusing.  In fact, their desire to please me is more amusing than playing.  As I said, I like to toy with them, so I become disinterested.  They keep trying to play, so I claw at them.  I use my nails, & it probably hurts.  I don’t care because I am aloof & self absorbed.  My people talk about how becoming this is, & that I appear majestic & regal.  Yes, I am truly magnificent in my egocentricity.  I can get away with this because it’s all about me.

You, on the other hand, are not me.  When you attempt to behave this way, you are manipulative & narcissistic.  After all, I am a cat, & it really is all about me.